WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

Ever wondered what has happened to cricketing players of  yesteryear? In the magazine we regularly keep you informed of what ex-players have been up to ... Here are a few examples ...

 Robin Smith was born in South Africa, and eventually followed his elder brother Chris, as well as Allan Lamb, in qualifying to play for England after settling in this country, South Africa being firmly in the cricketing wilderness at the time. Smith became a mainstay of the England middle order in the late 1980s and early 1990s, earning a great reputation against the quicks of the Windies. At this time Smith also earned the nickname 'Judge', thanks to his wig-like hair. When he eventually retired from his one club Hampshire, Smith quickly hit upon a business opportunity thanks to going on a wild stag weekend in Amsterdam. He started to arrange similar events for other cricketers, including Chris Read's infamous paint-balling weekend of 2004, which put paid to all chances of International recognition thereafter. Robin Smith is now one of the primary organisers of male only trips and events in the UK, catering for a select audience. For sportsmen looking for entertaining weekends, the number 1 choice is firmly established today as 'Judge Men Days'.

Mike Burns was a popular county cricketer, with both Warwickshire and Somerset. After retiring in 2005, Burns turned to his first love, as a cross-dressing singer. After joining a female soul tribute band, Burns became known as the 'Third Degree Burns' on the Taunton pub circuit. However, this career was short lived largely due to the fact that Burns bears a canny resemblance to Eddie Yeats, of Coronation Street fame. Undeterred, Burns pursued his other love, re-enacting mediaeval battles. With his contacts, Mike became a leading source of providing fighting talent to take part in these fierce and in no way pretend battles. His entourage of fighters, among battle re-enactment circles, have become crucial to the continuance of Sealed Knot events. No battle is re-enacted in modern day Britain without the attendance of a multitude of 'Burns Knights'.

Rob Turner played for Somerset for a number of seasons, finally retiring in 2005. The cheerful wicket-keeper even reached England A status for one tour, but never progressed any further up the pecking order. At the time Turner apparently believed there was a conspiracy theory working against him, which meant that he would never achieve England selection. Fuelled with the ambition to find out more of the truth, Turner took up life as a private investigator in the Taunton area. After solving a particularly messy divorce in the favour of a local TV producer, Rob was offered a small slot on a South West TV news magazine programme, digging up the dirt on local companies and officials in all walks of life. Turner was so successful that by 2007 he began one of the most eagerly anticipated series on BBC TV South West, where he operates as a Roger Cook-style investigative reporter, looking into people and organisations nobody else in the area would dare examine. 'Turner Pries' is now achieving a regular audience of over 75,000 for its 7.30 slot on Tuesday evenings.

Paul Reiffel was a niggling but effective seam bowler for Victoria, Nottinghamshire and Australia. He represented his country in no less than 35 Tests between 1992 and 1998, and was an effective support bowler, and handy late-order batsman. Although he rarely bowled sides out, 'Pistol' as he was known often chipped in with two or three wickets. After helping Victoria to domestic success Paul retired in the noughties, and after dabbling with media work, decided to opt for the quiet life in the outback. His first love was conservation of animal wildlife in the bush, and he purchased large tracts of land and set up game reserves to help various species under threat. In particular, he has been responsible for preserving the future of the 'Warne Wallaby', one of the most overweight and sexually promiscuous marsupials of them all. His work has helped to draw Australian attention to conservation, and has made him more popular even than his playing days. His parks, known as 'Reiffel Ranges', have turned him into an Australian dollar millionaire many times over.

Geoff Holmes was a solid performer for Glamorgan in the 1980s. Batting in the middle order and chipping in with the odd wicket, Geoff was a popular player on the county circuit, despite his absurd comedy moustache. Upon retiring, Geoff decided to turn his back on the game he loved and forge an alternative career as an escapologist, in the footsteps of his childhood hero, Harry Houdini. His act, usually played out in working men's clubs of South Wales, initially involved acts of 'great strength' where he would be walked upon by large men, or carrying dwarves on his shoulders. Following his recovery from a rather vicious attack in the street one night after a gig in Pontypool, Geoff hit upon an unusual route to performance, which he has also made subsequently into a monthly show on Harlech TV. In the concept Geoff is viscously attacked by two men with DIY implements and sees how long he can survive before escaping, or running away. 'Holmes Under The Hammer' is now a popular local show in the pre-Eastenders slot in all of Wales.

Graham Yallop was a moderately successful Test batsman for Australia, playing between 1976 and 1984 and making eight hundreds in 39 games, averaging 41. After dabbling with coaching, Graham turned to his first love, cooking. He soon established himself and his reputation as a Gordon Ramsay-style chef, trying to improve the performances of struggling restaurants in Melbourne. Yallop settled down by 2004 to a more regular TV format, cooking meals in front of a studio audience, before plucking an unsuspecting female from the audience to sit down and eat the meal he had just cooked live with him as the credits rolled. This entirely original concept, 'The Yalloping Gourmet', is now the second biggest rating show on Australia's Channel 9.

Tim Hancock was a regular for Gloucestershire in the 1990s and early noughties. After retiring, Hancock tried to pursue a media career, first in the local papers. But after an unsuccessful stint on the Cheltenham Gazette, Tim tried out local radio. At Cotswold FM, Hancock began as a producer then moved into presenting, earning a reputation as a 'shock jock' on a short 11.30 to midnight show, frequented by drunken callers. The highest listening figures in the station now belong to Hancock, who is currently suspended after claiming Prince Charles is an agent of Satan and that Camilla is the Devil Incarnate. It is not clear whether the infamous 'Hancock's Half Hour' will ever return.

At his peak Rodney Hogg was a frightening prospect. With a massive run up and occasional blistering pace, the Victorian caused havoc with a few England touring parties Down Under, although he never shone outside of Australia. Rodney did amass 123 Test wickets in 38 Tests between 1978 and 1984, at an average of just 28 apiece. After retirement in the late 1980s Hogg decided to return to the Melbourne suburbs of his youth. With few qualifications other than his cricketing skills, Rodney was forced to take a menial job at a car dealership. Whilst there he saw the opportunity to add some extra cash and began cleaning cars at the back. The draw of having your car cleaned by a former Aussie Test cricketer became too much for the population of Southern Melbourne, and soon Hogg was working full time cleaning cars. By the end of the 1990s, Rodney had developed a franchise of car cleaners where anyone seeking a 'Hogg Wash' would normally need to pay twenty Australian dollars a time.

 Peter Graves was a respectable county cricketer with Sussex from 1965 to 1980. A firm fixture in the middle order for Sussex during this time, Graves played over 500 games and remained in the Brighton area after his retirement. At this stage Graves had no qualifications other than cricket, and began labouring on local building sites. By the end of the 1980s he had progressed through foreman roles to setting up his own building firm. Spotting a gap in the market, Graves began to buy and sell JCBs to other builders, and found this hugely profitable. When he retired from the business in 2005, 'Graves Diggers' had become the biggest provider of JCB and other earth-moving equipment on the entire South Coast.

Ray Bright was a popular Aussie cricketer in the 1970s and 1980s - very popular with English batsmen such was his lack of prowess at test level. He retired in 1988 after a career of 25 Tests and just 53 wickets. Bright had little training other than cricket and so went into the building trade at first, training himself as an electrician. Seeing there was more money to be made as a boss rather than an underling, Bright set about using his cricketing celebrity to provide gangs of electricians for building projects across Melbourne. Such was his control of electrician labour by 1994 that he could stop work on any project in the city at a stroke, by withdrawing the efforts of his 'Bright Sparks' at a moment's notice. Soon boring of this he sold up and set up in business with Geoff Lawson (a qualified optometrist apparently) to set up a forerunner in affordable Australian laser surgery - 'Bright Eyes' - which he still runs today.

Jim Foat was a faithful servant of Gloucestershire during the 1980s. His looks were hardly describable as 'pin up', but he was an extremely efficient cover point in his day. As a middle order batsman he achieved moderate success, but during his cricket career he was often looking for business ventures to explore upon his inevitable retirement. Foat's business empire and personal fortune are reputed to be as great as those of Alan Sugar, only without the personality. His initial foray concerned his keen interest in personal fitness, and he soon built up a concern via investing in leisure clubs. The name Foat-o-Fit is now a generic term as he owns and runs 85% of all fitness clubs in the Gloucester and Cheltenham areas. Having had an unpleasant experience in a local American Diner, Jim invented a new 6-seater circular seating arrangement where all seats were in fact joined, rather than being separate. So called Foat-o-Booths also supplement Jim's expansive business profits. More recently Jim has found God (in a commercial sense) and has established a profitable website where individuals can preserve their anonymity and have their sins absolved on-line by a qualified Catholic priest. Foat-o-sinthesis.com is again a ground-breaking business model that has already earned him millions.

Ian Austin was an 'everyman' cricketer, in the sense that he was the same shape as many village and club cricketers up and down the land, and rightfully celebrated for this. His rotund shape must have helped him swing the ball, for in one-day cricket he was prodigious for Lancashire, and latterly for England. Nine ODIs followed for Austin, who even opened the bowling for England in their first match in the 1999 World Cup. Following his retirement in 2003, he initially wanted to go into the world of sports agency. However, Neil Fairbrother has the North West sealed up in terms of cricketers. Despite this, Ian used his considerable contacts in North Western Working Mens Clubs (from his frequent visiting of them) to look for talent to manage in the area. Despite calls for him to capitalise on his likeness for Johnny Vegas in the world of 'looky-likies', he found a pair of local magicians who he has nurtured - catapulting 'Mercurial Manny' and 'The Amazing Whodunnit' into the forefront of Working Mens Club live entertainment. His agency, 'Austin's Maestros', is now the number one source of magical talent on the entertainment circuit.

John Morris was a stalwart of Derbyshire CCC in the 1980s initially, and eventually achieved some International recognition. Although he played three Tests and eight ODIs, unfortunately his claim to fame was the 'Tiger Moth' incident with David Gower in Australia. His International career now over, Morris still played county cricket in the 1990s for Durham and Notts, and dabbled with coaching. Whilst he achieved some level of prominence as Cricket Manager at Derbyshire (we shall draw a discrete veil over the signing of Rikki Clarke as skipper for just one season) Morris was busy in other ventures making the most of his International fame. Looking for business opportunities in his local area, Morris initially dabbled with hiring contract workers in the mining industry. He soon settled on acting as an agent for several child actors in TV commercial work, where he quickly established himself as a leading provider of young acting talent for junior roles. Now firmly established within Equity and on all major TV channels, 'Morris Minors' are now the main pools of acting talent for under 16s in the East Midlands.